Great article. It's frightening because you see it everywhere you go, especially when people ignore you or turn a blind eye when something goes wrong and you're in trouble. I keep asking myself: have we stopped being human?
Awhile back, I took a deep dive into this problem because it disturbed me—as you say, it's how we live, but it's sure not how we grew up. I found "Bowling Alone" and "The Vanishing Neighbor" to be really enlightening books on the topic. Because this particular problem (according to these authors) invites others: helicopter parenting, Karens and dilettante activism, to name a few. I'm no sociologist but it seems to me there is some kind of connection.
During the Covidian years, my wife and I moved to a small town precisely because we wanted to get our kid away from this problem and participate more with our community. Where we lived in suburbia, we used to come back from trips just happy to be inside and see our pets and use our reliable coffee machines. We still do that now, of course, but every time I come home I now have an added feeling of being back where I belong—in a community. We take the turn into town and see Mr. Fields gassing up his mower to make his landscaping rounds. The EMT lady who feeds the birds in the afternoons. Old Matt who I helped with some videography work a few weeks back. I'm so glad I know these people.
Really great article and the comparison between life back then and life today is fully appropriate. Something has changed. Ways of living that were once good for us were also just the way things were done; we had no other choice. But now, we have to be deliberate about these choices if we're to not lose our mark on the world through our communities.
Thanks James, really well said. I absolutely agree with you about our having to be deliberate about community. I love that you know your neighbors. I think the choice to move in order to be more connected was a courageous one. I have too many family roots set here in San Diego to move my family, but I certainly try to stay connected with my immediate neighbors. I have a couple of neighbors that are so private they don't even look at us if we are outside at the same time. It's the strangest thing.
I definitely need to check out Bowling Alone and The Vanishing Neighbor (both are only a buck on audible!) Thank you for the recommendations! Appreciate your insight as always.
Great and insightful essay John. I've been living in the same suburban community outside of Chicago for over 30 years with my husband. For the first 15 of those years we rarely talked to any of our neighbors. But something changed since then. Older couples moved out and younger ones moved in. We began developing many really great relationships with our neighbors and now regularly help organize block parties, book club meetings, and the occasional bourbon nights! Just yesterday our next door neighbors invited us over at the last minute for some seared ahi tuna and some delicious wine. We now have a very tight community. Sure, there are political differences that we mostly don't talk about but the turn around I've experienced in our neighborhood I wouldn't trade for anything!
I absolutely loved reading this Dan, thank you for sharing!! I think it's very possible, and I hate to generalize, but maybe the younger couples are more apt than older ones to connect with neighbors. I find that here in San Diego also. Maybe the older generation naturally desires to keep to themselves. I think the events you described are exactly what brings neighbors together and I'm so happy when I hear it's happening in places still. It gives me hope. Thank you for your insight, Dan!
Dang dude. You put into words on a screen what I’ve been grappling with for a long time, but couldn’t get my thoughts together around. You are very on point with this, and I couldn’t agree more. We need our neighborhoods to be neighborhoods again.
Thanks Mick. This has been on my mind for quite some time. I noticed a very dramatic shift during and after the pandemic especially. I hope that in time we see a return to the kindness, and care that are essential for healthy neighborhoods.
I feel like I just had a humbling cup of coffee with John; how engaging and on point is this article?
There does seem to be a devious source of intention behind the disconnect with modern humans on a global scale actually. It was absolutely on purpose, it was as on purpose as the feeling God gives us when we know we are about to do something wrong. The “secret” elites who run the world (thanks to their ancestral plans) maintain the lineage of indirect control to prosper their legacy. “hello, the Art of War,”these types of tactics have been used and refined throughout history. Don’t forget how many times they’ve erased and edited truth while keeping us distracted with useless media and entertainment. Similar to throwing a bunch of highly addictive drugs into depressed neighborhoods in order to break up families, propaganda was the drug seeded into a maze tailored to brainwash us. Hitler was one of, if not the first broadcast viewed all over the world when TVs made their debut. Check out this short article by Daniel Pick to get deep:
Regardless of greed and evil always being present, there will always be opportunities to do good. I think your right about getting more engaged with community by encouraging others with the most simplest approach and that is to respect others even when you disagree with them, as long as they are not being violent or hostile. It’s amazing what one person can do for a community by just being creative. Listen, God created us to create, plain and simple; we can create evil or good, light or dark, fear or faith, any of the yins and yangs. It is said and has been lived that God is with us and we are with God. When we discern his good ways through praying, fasting, breathing, etc we tend to do better
because we are treating our bodies like a temple that which nourishes our biological functions and then feeds our mind, ultimately the soul.
(1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
Life is hard, throughout ancient texts humans know of suffering, yet there is often a remedy to manage. The people that find something by moving and speaking authentically one day at a time are the ones who live life and go out with served purpose. One asset to creating that sense of hope in life is by making other people feel safe and encouraged to team up with others who want to feel truly human again. That starts by one of the most essential commandments to a successful life, and that’s to love your neighbor like you love yourself. (Leviticus 19:18)
Really well said Sarah. I imagine there are nefarious actors out there for sure. With the immense power that has been drawn from wealth, some of these actors certainly have the time and resources to play the long game to hold on to it for generations. But as you said, there is a greater One and a greater plan. We should never live in fear, and that's why I believe that actively caring for the closest in our lives, our family, and our neighbors, is essential and will produce joy :)
I here ya! My wife and I are different. I'm good either way, but I understand she like having plenty of friends. In San Diego, where I live, my community is just starting to see folks that enjoy neighborly interaction. For quite a long time it was folks even much older than I am, but they had community at one point but that has changed. I work from home also. I like San Diego for the outdoors stuff we can do. About twenty miles east of where I live it very much like the old community way I group up with. That's where my parents live. I think there are still strongholds for community for sure, just have to search them out. Good luck with you home sale and I hope you find somewhere that's awesome!!
Great article. It's frightening because you see it everywhere you go, especially when people ignore you or turn a blind eye when something goes wrong and you're in trouble. I keep asking myself: have we stopped being human?
Thank you for reading.
It seems that way, doesn't it? I also have noticed a decrease in patience and kindness. I wonder if it will continue to degrade over time. I hope not.
Awhile back, I took a deep dive into this problem because it disturbed me—as you say, it's how we live, but it's sure not how we grew up. I found "Bowling Alone" and "The Vanishing Neighbor" to be really enlightening books on the topic. Because this particular problem (according to these authors) invites others: helicopter parenting, Karens and dilettante activism, to name a few. I'm no sociologist but it seems to me there is some kind of connection.
During the Covidian years, my wife and I moved to a small town precisely because we wanted to get our kid away from this problem and participate more with our community. Where we lived in suburbia, we used to come back from trips just happy to be inside and see our pets and use our reliable coffee machines. We still do that now, of course, but every time I come home I now have an added feeling of being back where I belong—in a community. We take the turn into town and see Mr. Fields gassing up his mower to make his landscaping rounds. The EMT lady who feeds the birds in the afternoons. Old Matt who I helped with some videography work a few weeks back. I'm so glad I know these people.
Really great article and the comparison between life back then and life today is fully appropriate. Something has changed. Ways of living that were once good for us were also just the way things were done; we had no other choice. But now, we have to be deliberate about these choices if we're to not lose our mark on the world through our communities.
Thanks James, really well said. I absolutely agree with you about our having to be deliberate about community. I love that you know your neighbors. I think the choice to move in order to be more connected was a courageous one. I have too many family roots set here in San Diego to move my family, but I certainly try to stay connected with my immediate neighbors. I have a couple of neighbors that are so private they don't even look at us if we are outside at the same time. It's the strangest thing.
I definitely need to check out Bowling Alone and The Vanishing Neighbor (both are only a buck on audible!) Thank you for the recommendations! Appreciate your insight as always.
Great and insightful essay John. I've been living in the same suburban community outside of Chicago for over 30 years with my husband. For the first 15 of those years we rarely talked to any of our neighbors. But something changed since then. Older couples moved out and younger ones moved in. We began developing many really great relationships with our neighbors and now regularly help organize block parties, book club meetings, and the occasional bourbon nights! Just yesterday our next door neighbors invited us over at the last minute for some seared ahi tuna and some delicious wine. We now have a very tight community. Sure, there are political differences that we mostly don't talk about but the turn around I've experienced in our neighborhood I wouldn't trade for anything!
I absolutely loved reading this Dan, thank you for sharing!! I think it's very possible, and I hate to generalize, but maybe the younger couples are more apt than older ones to connect with neighbors. I find that here in San Diego also. Maybe the older generation naturally desires to keep to themselves. I think the events you described are exactly what brings neighbors together and I'm so happy when I hear it's happening in places still. It gives me hope. Thank you for your insight, Dan!
You're welcome John! I've got friends and family in San Diego so I know what you mean.
Dang dude. You put into words on a screen what I’ve been grappling with for a long time, but couldn’t get my thoughts together around. You are very on point with this, and I couldn’t agree more. We need our neighborhoods to be neighborhoods again.
Thanks Mick. This has been on my mind for quite some time. I noticed a very dramatic shift during and after the pandemic especially. I hope that in time we see a return to the kindness, and care that are essential for healthy neighborhoods.
I feel like I just had a humbling cup of coffee with John; how engaging and on point is this article?
There does seem to be a devious source of intention behind the disconnect with modern humans on a global scale actually. It was absolutely on purpose, it was as on purpose as the feeling God gives us when we know we are about to do something wrong. The “secret” elites who run the world (thanks to their ancestral plans) maintain the lineage of indirect control to prosper their legacy. “hello, the Art of War,”these types of tactics have been used and refined throughout history. Don’t forget how many times they’ve erased and edited truth while keeping us distracted with useless media and entertainment. Similar to throwing a bunch of highly addictive drugs into depressed neighborhoods in order to break up families, propaganda was the drug seeded into a maze tailored to brainwash us. Hitler was one of, if not the first broadcast viewed all over the world when TVs made their debut. Check out this short article by Daniel Pick to get deep:
https://wellcomecollection.org/articles/the-history-of-brainwashing
Regardless of greed and evil always being present, there will always be opportunities to do good. I think your right about getting more engaged with community by encouraging others with the most simplest approach and that is to respect others even when you disagree with them, as long as they are not being violent or hostile. It’s amazing what one person can do for a community by just being creative. Listen, God created us to create, plain and simple; we can create evil or good, light or dark, fear or faith, any of the yins and yangs. It is said and has been lived that God is with us and we are with God. When we discern his good ways through praying, fasting, breathing, etc we tend to do better
because we are treating our bodies like a temple that which nourishes our biological functions and then feeds our mind, ultimately the soul.
(1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
Life is hard, throughout ancient texts humans know of suffering, yet there is often a remedy to manage. The people that find something by moving and speaking authentically one day at a time are the ones who live life and go out with served purpose. One asset to creating that sense of hope in life is by making other people feel safe and encouraged to team up with others who want to feel truly human again. That starts by one of the most essential commandments to a successful life, and that’s to love your neighbor like you love yourself. (Leviticus 19:18)
Really well said Sarah. I imagine there are nefarious actors out there for sure. With the immense power that has been drawn from wealth, some of these actors certainly have the time and resources to play the long game to hold on to it for generations. But as you said, there is a greater One and a greater plan. We should never live in fear, and that's why I believe that actively caring for the closest in our lives, our family, and our neighbors, is essential and will produce joy :)
I here ya! My wife and I are different. I'm good either way, but I understand she like having plenty of friends. In San Diego, where I live, my community is just starting to see folks that enjoy neighborly interaction. For quite a long time it was folks even much older than I am, but they had community at one point but that has changed. I work from home also. I like San Diego for the outdoors stuff we can do. About twenty miles east of where I live it very much like the old community way I group up with. That's where my parents live. I think there are still strongholds for community for sure, just have to search them out. Good luck with you home sale and I hope you find somewhere that's awesome!!